ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He felt like a one man threesome
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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