Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
