Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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