Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
