I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
