All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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