He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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