woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize