I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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