just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
