i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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