all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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