these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
