She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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