My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize