Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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