Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
