So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
