Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
