I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
