he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i think i just lost a toe
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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