Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
