Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
