New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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