Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
A+ Viking dick
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize