allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
