if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
did you just send me my own nude
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
