I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
