Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
