watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
