If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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