i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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