Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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