Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
