Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
