nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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