so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
