Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
