FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
