so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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