Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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