He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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