barbara walters just said penis...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
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