I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
