i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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