I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize