Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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