Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
