Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
