Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
