The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
