So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
