I'll bet she douches with gravy.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
