She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
