dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
