She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize