OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
