i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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