I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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