Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
