it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think people are normalizing furries
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
