He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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