Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
