I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Randomize
