Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
COCAINE IS GR8
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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