The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
40s are totally the cure
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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