You're completely useless in the revolution.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
