Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
