that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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