I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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