...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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