He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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