I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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