i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
