this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Randomize
