Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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