there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
