fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
my poor anus
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize