Kiss
Puke
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
