dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
