somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
