But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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