just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
