let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
