I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
