I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
