i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
