I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
