He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
