everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
