You just made me feel so damn special
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
