I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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