you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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